Happy New Year!

This is my last blog entry for 2011!

2010 was an awesome year and 2011 was even better and I can only suspect that 2012 will out do them all! I started a fun new position at a preschool and met some great ladies and kids and made some lasting friendships this year. I bought a new little car and landed my first apartment which i call "The Hobbit Hole" because its in the basement of a old Victorian house and so cute yet short in the bathroom (If you are six feet tall your head will hit the ceiling) .

I went on a few great hikes around Colorado! A five mile at Palmer Park and the daunting Incline as well as learned line dancing and how to do a simple swing dance and how to Zumba! I started beading and photography!

I am thinking of goals for 2012 and i want to organize myself and keep up with my blog and home journal. To laugh more and play more and to have fun! To spend a day just playing with my camera somewhere fab.....

To let those I love live the way they choose without judgements and criticisms in my head. To love more.....To be in love and let myself fall in love....

Life is grand!

Happy New Year.....

Walter & Cheryl

Today I went to my old company where they were having a open house. I talked to old friends and old bosses and I went on a cool thing called the bio mat and almost went to sleep. I was so relaxed! I left smiling and so happy and at peace. It got me to thinking ;)

I went to see the muppet movie with my friend Kevin last weekend. People, I use to dislike the Muppet's. Really. I decided to give them a try. I have never seen any of their movies etc. They just creeped me out..big time. I was in for a surprise and delight. I LOVED IT..serious. I love the muppets! I laughed and was glued to the screen. This is a huge step for me! ;)

The main character Walter was born into a real human family and the trouble is Walter is a Muppet. :) He really did not belong and until he found the other muppets.

That is how it was when I found my old company. :) so today when i visited them all I was so happy...My people....Into health and wellness and happy and positive and accepting me for me....Love you guys. Life is good (mg)

HOW TO START BEING A POSITIVE GIRLIEPOO

I have not been here in a few weeks! I have had more then a few people come up to me and ask me how i stay so happy and positive and I tell them that it was a habit that I had to learn and then practice and develop. Two years ago when I first started practicing it I would be positive about everything all day long to the point of it being silly. Yet, it helped me develop my positive lifestyle. I would say happy things about even the most awful situations and was a bit irritating to a few people and the ones that love me knew that I was in learning mode and they just smiled at me. For months I would spend the whole day just practicing it and saying good things. I smiled....and I laughed.

Now..where am I? I am real now. I allowed myself to go back to Cheryl and what Cheryl believes and I now pull out my positive attitude daily. When a situation is wrong or gross ..I call it wrong or gross now. I do not find the good in all bad every time. Yes, I still will look for good in all and I still smile and I still pull out my positive attitude and yet i am real. People are now able to talk to me and get a real answer and not a Pollyanna "oh lets be glad" answer...

I am sharing this because I believe my two years of just being a positive robot were needed to develop a new way of thinking If you want to be a happier and more positive person I challenge you to go into the Positive thinking boot camp like I did and just think about what you say all day long and only come back with something helpful and happy and do this for months or two years like I did. I still do that 99 percent of the day and when I get into stinky thinking and try to justify it I simply empty the old excuse bucket (mg) and know that its old habits that are creeping up.

Have a great day....and be happy life is good....(mg)

YES, To being READY in life...

Yesterday I came home from work and my landlords had put up some new blinds and etc. I smiled and went on with my night. This morning I got to thinking as I am getting ready for my last chores before I leave for work. Every morning I pick up and usually do the dishes and always make my bed nice. My apt looks cute and in order and I have NO fear of anyone coming in as and I did not know they were even going to show up yesterday. I was just organized in this area.

Now....Is Cheryl organized with her body? Can someone call her up and say "Put on your little black dress" and then Cheryl can go in and feel great? The same with swim suits, shorts and cute little jeans. Yes, I have come a long way and its important to keep the weight I lost off and tone it up.

I want to encourage everyone to organize their food plans and exercise plans today. Get ready because you never know when a big events will just happen or even the little ones where the great jeans look great :)

I just want to remind myself to stay organized in all areas. Like my made up bed...No worries. Its done....

Testing Fences

I got this today and wanted to share it. Its awsome! I sometimes fight against my fences and in the past broke through them. Now I want to be happy in my safe place.....

Thanks Marybeth

Marybeth Whalen
http://www.proverbs31.org/speakingministry/speakerteam/MaryBethWhalen.php


“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:6 (NIV)

Each morning when I let my dog out he does a lap around the perimeter of our yard and then comes back to ram his body against the gate, just to see if he can get out of the confinement we’ve put him in. He looks over at me as he does it, as if to say, “Just checking.” The other morning I was laughing about what a silly dog he is. Then it occurred to me that I am not that different from him when it comes to the fences in my life.

Like my dog, I have a Master who has constructed boundaries to keep me safe. But I don’t always like those boundaries. I don’t understand why they have to be there. Why can’t I just be free to roam where I please, call my own shots, make my own decisions? Why must there be fences to hem me in?

Like my dog, I am quick to forget that those fences are there for my protection. And so I go around kicking them, testing them, pushing against them instead of accepting them. Instead of trusting, I just feel trapped.

As I look back over my life, I can see many fences I’ve tested. When God made me a mother, I questioned the position I’d landed in. Perhaps I’d be better off somewhere else, doing something else.

When God directed us to do whatever it took to get our finances under control, I longed for the days when I could run free with my credit card.

When marriage got really, really hard, I wondered if I was meant to be bound to this one man forever.

When God called me to homeschooling, I resisted being tied to my home and children, slow to realize that God placed me there to teach me things I could’ve never learned otherwise.

As I’ve surveyed the path of my purpose, I’ve found myself wondering if another path would be better—if I am truly where I am supposed to be.

It seems I have struggled with every boundary, pushing against every fence God has ever erected in my life. Instead of seeing the place He puts me as a reason for my safety, I dwell on how it inhibits me.

I can see how those boundaries kept me in a place where He could reach me. And when the time came, I saw the benefits of those boundaries. Through motherhood, I learned to be a servant. Through marriage I learned to forgive and accept forgiveness. Through paying off debt, I learned the blessings of financial freedom. Through homeschooling I learned to lay down my agenda for His. I am a better person—and I know God better—through the boundaries in my life.

Have you struggled with some boundaries of your own? Maybe today you’re looking at the fences in your life and wanting to throw yourself against them instead of seeing them as pleasant places and trusting that within those confines waits your delightful inheritance. Maybe you’ve forgotten that your Master erected those perimeters for your good.

This morning a neighbor knocked at our door. My dog had pushed against the fence and this time it had given way. He had escaped and gone for a romp through our neighborhood, happy and free, oblivious to the cars that could have hit him, the dog catcher who would be only too happy to put him in the pound.

The neighbor brought him back to me and I put him in the fence, this time making sure the gate was securely latched. He still didn’t understand the need for his fence. But I, his master, do. He just has to trust that I have erected the fence for his safety, and dwell in his pleasant place. Just like me.

Dear Lord, help me to stop pushing against the boundaries You’ve erected in my life. Help me to instead see those perimeters as existing for my protection and my good. Let me see where You have me as a pleasant place, no matter where that might be. I want to stop testing the fences and dwell in Your safe pasture, trusting and content. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Little Green Box / Changes

The picture is my new little table from my friend Connie...I just love it and my french press and special coffee cup!

Yesterday I got two items i have been obsessed about. One is my big Brun coffee pot. I bought it years ago and it has been my friend first thing on many mornings and other then that no special sentiment was attached to that pot! The other item was my old recipe box. I have had that sense my home EC class back along ago and have collected alot of recipes over the years.

I have bugged Kevin D and Tami for over a year new to find these items that are stored in their home and they have looked and looked for over a year now and finally came across them a few days ago. I was over the moon with delight. Serious.... I woke up yesterday morning all excited (yea my stuff today) and called my mom telling her how excited I was and after dance lessons I hurried over to their house to get my treasures of long ago :) ....I was truly excited.

After a friendly visit and a relief I am sure that I wont be harping them about the green box and coffee pot anymore I took my items home...YEA......

Ok.......Those items are from the past and of old things and a old life and yesterday showed me a few things for sure.

First off my pot has been stored for two years now and I needed to clean it up before I brewed coffee for my Sunday morning laz...:) I filled it with cold water and turned it on and let it go through a cycle and all of a sudden black smoke poured out of it. I hurried up and shut it off before the smoke detector came on! ok....I had to say good bye to Mr Brun and off he went to the huge green bin out back....bummer...

I then spotted my beautiful Bodum french press and decided that I have moved way on from that old coffee pot and this blowing up of my coffee pot was a way of letting go of the past and to embrace change in my life. Good changes! YEA....Change is good.

Next came my little green recipe file...I opened it up and started looking through the files. They were full of recipes that could actually kill a person let alone a whole family. I kept the few that meant alot to me which were five recipes! and tossed out the ones with white sugar and white flour (most I have never even made ) I do not need them and will not serve them to anyone I love or even those I do not like! I then spotted my Greens recipe book from Erik and Brandon and know that I can make beautiful whole yummy food without harm...again changes....good changes. I will fill that little green box with great yummy healthy recipes. I can hardly wait....

I woke up this morning feeling a step in the right direction and light and free...Life Is Good (MG)

I just heard on the radio about a study that was done concerning how we can sometimes just "EAT IT" even if it does not taste good! Habit eating....The study took movie goers and gave them stale days old popcorn that did not taste good and guess what? They ate it......I have been guilty of this kind of unconscious eating and just did it recently in a restaurant. It was a bread roll that i remembered that i loved and one bite and it was not that over the moon as I remembered and yet..I ATE IT....dumb..really bad. I did that with a brownie recently. It was awful and I ate it to not insult people. Today I challenge you and most of all myself to eat consciously and look at and taste everything and if it is not good then just do not eat it. Its if rotten or stale or just icky don't do it...I have this coffee in my fridge and its awful...serious....and I drink it because i can not afford new coffee until next week. Next time before i try something new I will just buy one days worth and then go from there. The situations that lead to eating unconsciously is car eating (remember that dreadful rolled tortilla filled with that awful goo) ew. Television eating...the worse one and eating at your desk.... Have a great Monday....

Riding the "0"

I have lost weight a few times in my life and every single time I do what I call "Riding a 0" I tell myself all day "Cheryl, ride the 0".......and when I do that I get weight loss results!

Riding the 0 is when you rate your hunger level. We all know how to do that and some use numbers to help visulize the various hunger levels. 0 is when you are very very hungry / skip meal hungry. 1 to 4 is when you are hungry in various levels and you loose weight when you eat at any level from 0 to 4...5 is when you are comfy full.....and where you maintain weight. 6 to 7 is full and you are pretty much overeating and 8 to 9 is stuffing and where you gain weight...10 is a Thanksgiving full where you are sick and you are going to gain very fast!

Riding a 0 is where you skip eating or eat just a apple for lunch or in my case a few chocolate almonds and a apple.

IT has been proven that eating less is now good for you and not the bad health hazard like thought before and literary fasting / not eating or riding a 0 or just drinking fruit juice to cleanse is great for you and has health benefits like no other!

If you want to loose weight you at some time have to ride a 0....Its just the way it is....You are sometimes hungry when you loose weight....

Ok off to work....:)

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles, and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers, because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Alaska.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working, so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

Isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Tell Your Story and Zumba

When I first had my marriage break up back in 2005 I told my sad tale to anyone who would listen ...everyone was my target. Lady in line at the store and the checker as well. I never felt good about that and last year stopped telling my story to anyone and everyone. It was a abstinence from dwelling on my "story"


Recently I decided to tell my story only when I felt led to do so and of course telling the end part where my life now rocks and today was just a day and my story is no longer a sad tale :) Its a story of a women who went belly up and then climbed a mountain of forgiveness and faith and healing and who dances and climbs mountains. Its a "If I can do it, YOU can do it" story.....

I told my story today to my exercise instructor (Her IPOD broke and she did not have class which let me have a one on one with her, A God thing?...you bet) and she cried and said "wow....you are such a light and what a story".....I told her because I wanted to ask her about dance lessons and ask her to show me how to zumba my hips :) lol...and she did teach me right there.....She was just right then going through something dreadful and I think I inspired her. This beautiful girl....what a blessing...

LIfe is good people...tell your story....

And for goodness sakes...MOVE YOUR HIPS.....zumba!!!!

Shopping

I am always amazed at the reaction I get when I tell people that I go to Whole Foods and shop. They give me that evil "you are so extravagant look...:) and say "wow, that is expensive" Yes, it can be if you shop in the middle isle and buy all the expensive imported sauces and chocolates. If you buy the produce on sale like I do you get a good deal and the most excellent produce. I can not tell you how many mealy tasteless apples I have bought this year and I never get that at Whole Foods. Yes, I do sometimes spend maybe 1 dollar more for apples in total (not per pound) and sometimes not and sometimes they are cheaper then the local grocery store. I shop all over as well. I go to Sunflower market and the local farmers markets when I have a empty Sat morning and yes the grocery store and Costco!

Let me ask if you are shaking your head thinking "Cheryl, a dollar is a dollar and im not going to spend 1 dollar more for apples" well....Look at what you do spend more on. Starbucks? etc Fast food, candy, ice cream and eating out?

I had to take a look at that over a year ago when I first started eating whole organic and yes expensive food. My health is worth a extra dollar and boy do I enjoy that wonderful crispy juicy apple...:) Its not just apples now.. Its everything I eat. I look for the very best for my money yummy coffee beans and organic blue agave syrup and organic half and half etc.....Eat well and live big!

Paleo Chicken Nuggets

PALEO CHICKEN NUGGETS

I just made these to eat at work next week.

CHICKEN BONELESS CHICKEN BREASTS (TENDERS ARE GOOD)
DRIZZLE OF OLIVE OIL
ALMOND MEAL (USED RED MILL)
SALT
GARLIC POWDER

MIX ALMOND MEAL WITH SALT AND GARLIC POWDER. TOSS THE CHICKEN PIECES IN THE OLIVE OIL AND PLACE ALMOND MEAL IN A PLASTIC BAG AND ADD THE CHICKEN PIECES AND SHAKE. BAKE 400 FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES. YUM.....

Erik

I just was sitting here reading your journal that I started when you were 9 years old. Years later and a much grown up mom. Reading brought back to the great times of watching you grow up the last few years in Turlock..good years. Erik i am very proud of you. In my wildest dreams I could not have asked for a better son.

You have grown into a man of honor and integrity. When i was a young girl people would ask me "what do you want to be when you grow up" I would say "a mommy" I am so proud of "ME" as did it. Look at you three kids. Anything else I do is icing on the cake. Did I make mistakes..Yea....You kids and your self reliant attitudes have inspired me this year to be brave and stand tall.

I am so proud of your work and what you have accomplished all on your own with hard work and determination.

Brandon....The only thing I have to say about Brandon is he is a treasure!......I am so proud of the partner you are to Brandon.....You inspire me to be that partner someday.

Always remember. Volcano's with flour all over the kitchen and back yard homemade swimming pools...

Love you.....

Ashley

What can I say about my Ashweed? I wrote some of this last year and put it in your journal. Ashley I am so stinken proud of the beautiful women you have become!

You are a good wife to Roger and a beautiful daughter and sister! Your work ethics are amazing.... You give me strength and courage this last year and I am blessed to have a daughter such as you! Ashley I went through a long winter season in my life because i was not content in all that God gave me in life. Baby be content in all that is good in your life and be positive, joyful and happy!

Happy Birthday Amanda

Today is your birthday!!

What can I say about you? You were my last baby and have been the one in our family to make us smile and laugh. You called me last night and guess what? You made me smile and yes laugh until my sides hurt. That is Amanda.....I tease you about being a "bad" baby and how you cried for week and its just to make you laugh. She was not really a bad baby. You just wanted her mommy and wanted to be loved and held. You Grammy called you the "hanging baby" as I held you as I took care of her brother Erik and sister Ash.

One time you wanted to get money from a tooth fairy and your dad told you that you had to loose a tooth first and you went right in the bathroom and with players took out a tooth that was not even lose. That is my Amanda.....

You and I lived in Colorado together alone for seven months and those months we were brave together in what was a very scary time. We just laughed our way through it.....Manman, always remember: 7-11, Hot cheetos, Going to get slurpies in the snow at midnight, walks in the snow, Indian food, Dar and the boys, The older man up stairs, Trips to dollar city, the library, Twinson.

Amanda you have grown up to be the women that I always imagined you to be. You are a women of honor and grace and I am proud to be called you MOM today. I love you very much and this is my present to you. My gift of words. God did a wonderful thing when he gave me you that August 10, 1990. He knew just what our little family needed.

You are a child of God and a daughter and a sister and now a girlfriend to Dustin...Life is good baby,

Love you very much,

MOMMY

Food As Medicine

I have been thinking a long time about food as medicine and surely it is. Its fuel and it also heals us or it can harm and even kill us if we eat the wrong foods year after year. Especially if we over eat them and eat them in huge portions day after day. I went to a dance yesterday and ate potato salad. You know the old fashioned one made white potatoes swimming in mayo :) I ate 1/4 cup of it and so do not feel so bad and and about to go on a four / five mile hike in a hour!

I know that its proven that apples actually heal your body as wells as all the fruits. Antioxidants! They kill the bad cells that develope from all the toxins in our world. Good fats eaten with good carbs can keep your blood sugar in the proper range as the oils slow down the digestion of the carbs...MEDICINE!! Coffee wakes up the brain and does wonders :)

Lisa (see cast members) tells me about our cortisol levels and aging and how stress affects our levels and how food can heal this! She insists on going on a rich meat and oil diet for a day to help her out when she is stressed out. It works....

I have eaten fruits and vegies and olive oil and lean protein (not meat every day) like yogurts and chicken and fish and some lean beef and pork and raw sugars like honey, Organic only when I can and GLUTEN FREE. And most important: filtered water... My numbers at the doctor were:

Cholesteral: Like a teenager
Blood Sugar: Non diabetic
Blood Pressure: Like a teenager
and most important:

BRAIN: Happy, Joyful, and looking forward to a grand future. UNWONKED.....:)

A year ago I was slammin big macs and frozen pizza....:) and in turn I was depressed and hopeless and wonkedup.....

In

Life is good..Ok off to my hike.....

Let The Past Go!

We all have a story to tell and the older we get the more we have to tell! Some of our stories are great and wonderful and some are not so good with pain and devastation. I have such a story and it is a few years in the making. What I have had to learn is that I AM NOT MY STORY!! I am not that two years of whatever and until I decided to find out who I was and I have done that was I able to live a abundant life.

My life-coach tells me I am not my story and that I have to move past it and to let the past go in order for me to move into my future. I have done that and am working on it daily. I am becoming a new creation and a bit of the old Cheryl...The Cheryl Lynn that was always there is coming alive!

If you are stuck in a past story then I ask you why? How does that serve you? Does it allow you to remain a "poor me victim"? and how fun is that? NOT.....How do you let go of the past?

You have to practice it daily in your thoughts. When a stinky thought comes to your mind you have to cast it out and replace it with a positive thought. When you think "Oh my, I cant believe I did that" you say "Who cares"? You are different now and move on!

Life is good and we have the power to create our future!!! (MrG)

Today at church they played part of the move "The Matrix" The part where Neo asks Morpheus to explain the matrix and Morpheus holds out two hands and in each hand there is a pill, ONE RED AND ONE BLUE.

Morpheus: “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

Wow....

That pretty much sums up my life, how about yours? I had a choice just like that a year and a half ago. Last year i had the choice ....take the blue pill and stay in my life as it was....or take the red pill full of change and happiness and growth and yes "wonderland"...

Some days i think "blue pill come and get me" :) and then I carry on and do the next correct thing and am so happy I choose red and life!

Life is friggen good!!!

More to come....

Confidence

Confidence .....I can not say enough about how that one state of being impacts our life as women. It makes a huge difference in life with work, friendships and even love....

Most of you know i work in a infant room and we have two sweet little girls right now. One is very confident. She looks you in the eye and she has these big eyes and is is as cute as can be. She is boisterous and laughs very loud and her eyes are huge and she mesmerizes you. When strangers walk in she yells out and laughs and they look at her and she flirts away and gets a "hello, my arnt you a cutie" and she is all over that. She knows she is cute and goes after the complement and gets it each time.

Then there is the other sweetie pie. She may appear not as confident and yet her teachers know better. She is shy and does not like strangers and when they enter the room she looks away and cry's and people say "oh wow, she does not like strangers" They never say she is cute etc and yet I have just really bonded with her and when she smiles she is just beautiful and cute and knows how to flirt! She can mesmerize you with her eyes as well as baby above when she wants to. Key here is "when she wants to" :)

Both children have great parents who are confidant and both girls are as different as night and day. I more like the second sweetie pie. I am shy and it takes me a bit of time to trust people and I suspect i was always like this and now with people who tell me im good, smart and yes pretty (us women do need that from time to time) I am rocking...:)

My life-coach said this week that we can hover on the ground with the pigeons or we can sail through the sky with the eagles. I choose the eagles! and choose to be the eagle in everyone's life today.

I am sure this is the key to building self esteem / confidence. Choose friends, work associates, life mates etc that build you up and then you be that person as well. Strip the negative people from your life. The emotional vampires that suck the life out of you. :) and have fun for goodness sakes...

WAIT

Wait...My word of the day. Waiting has always been hard for me and often in my life I got impatient and did my own thing my own way and its always been a "How is that working for you Cheryl"? :) Because what I wanted was not in the immediate reach I would reach for second best and it was always a disaster. If I had only just waited.

I use to decide to cute my hair and i mean when I decided to that meant NOW as in right this minute so i would call up my stylist and of course she was all booked up for "right now" so i would go down to the local chain hair choppers and do it because i could not WAIT and wow I got a chopper all right.

I am all about waiting now. I have waited a year and a half for my life to just play itself out here in Colorado and have not jumped on the lets move here or there band wagon. Wait is not easy and like the bad hair cut not waiting on God is much harder! and you are very sorry at the result weather its a chopped "DO" or a chopped up botched up relationship.

My friend Michael is teaching me all about waiting in life and we had this conversation recently about how in our society no one wants to wait. Anything can be at our fingertips now. We can go into the store and get a gourmet meal and microwave it and we can talk to anyone at anytime on a cell phone. I remember when we only had a home phone and you had to wait for someone to call you back and really before answering machines you did not even know they called. wait.....

I have rushed things in life and today its all about waiting for what is good and perfect.

Weather its a beautiful relationship with the one that was meant for me all along while i was hurrying destiny along or that slow cooked all day beef bourguignon. Wow, that sounded sensual and related somehow.....haha

Ok next post will have to be about the meantime :) What to do in the wait.....HINT: sing, dance, pray, love, give, laugh, risk, ......and for goodness sakes..HAVE FUN....

Happy Mothers Day

I have journals for the kids and I want to share my last entry December 2010


To my children Mothers Day 2011

Dear Erik,

Years later and a much grown up mom. Reading this book brought me back to the great times of watching you grow up and of my last few years in Turlock.

Erik, I am so stinken proud of you! In my wildest dreams I could not ask for a better son. You have grown into a man of courage and honor and integrity. I'm in awe....When I was a little girl people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would say "A mommy and a wife" Erik im so proud of me today. Look at you three....Im done! Anything else I do is icing on the cake!

You kids have showed your mom what self reliant and good and brave and what stand tall looks like! You have taught me what forgiveness looks like as well...You are a awesome partner to Brandon and a hard worker.

Remember the volcano with flour blowing up the kitchen? Your back yard homemade swimming pool? I fly out tomorrow to see you...Love you Buddy

Dear Ashely,

Im flying out to Colorado and can't wait to spend time with you. I'm in Colorado because my future is here and waiting. Weeder im so proud of you. You have become a beautiful women and a good partner to Roger and good sister and a awesome daughter. You ar a hard worker and for that im proud. You are daughter to the king. You are pink and fufu.....

You show me what a women of courage and strength looks like and you are my brave little girl. I am blessed to have you as my daughter and friend. I love you baby....

Dear Amanda,

You are a beautiful example of a mothers dream when she holds her little baby and dreams of what the grown up women will become. A women of courage and honor.I am blessed to have known you and to be your mom. You are funny and smart and bold and beautiful....giving and kind.

You fought hard to finish school and your work at your job is good.

You are a princess truly......Love you my third baby.......and you will always be all our baby....

DREAM TEAM

There is nothing that two women can not accomplish before noon if left alone to figure it out! That is of course unless one of them has a issue with her husband or boyfriend....So stinken true!!!

How true that is! We women think with our hearts, don't we? We can make a million dollar deal, close escrow on a house, head a board meeting and rule the world, yet.....when our hearts are not at peace we have trouble with focus and clarity and its then that we reach out to another women / friend and say "help" and she is there........We are heart centered / live in our hearts. I Know that is true for me.

I love my relationships with my girliepoos. Its important and I value them. Last night on the conference all with Michael he talked again about how important it is to have a group of people around us to be our support. He called it a dream team and I encourage each of you to set today and make a list of your dream team and if you do not have five or six good freinds on there to support you then I ask "why not"?

The best way to find your dream team is to go out and become a member of another s dream team. Reach out to people and be that support and be that friends that you desire!

Yes, there is not anything us women can accomplish in twos :) and if we have a issue with our hearts then be sure that we will have it figured out by noon....:)

Love all my girlies.....My mom, daughters, sister, cousins and friends.......smoooooooch

Be Prepared

I just heard on the news that a Boy Scout troop was missing and was just found safe and sound because....THEY WERE PREPARED! That is the boy scout motto "Be Prepared" I remember teaching that to my son and when they are little cubs they have to memorize that first "Be Prepared"....

How that speaks to me today. To prepare is everything. To be ready willing and able. To plan.....When we have goals we first have to set out a plan and put it into action. We will not be as successful if we just wing it each day and "hope" to reach the goal. I do not use the word hope and this is why.....

If we want to loose weight we have to be prepared with food and a exercise plan and a back up plan when friends ask us to go out to dinner or on a picnic. What will you do? Prepare and bring some of your own food? or Google the restaurant and find out what you can eat and then you are all set so that when you arrive you do not wing it and set yourself up to fail. If you do not have a clue what will be served and do not feel it appropriate to ask a hostess then mentally visualize yourself having very small portions and having fun and concentration on the moment and friends or family and not the food.

At home we can prepare for success by stalking our kitchens with good wholesome food.....not junk. Leave out the soda, candy, icecream and white sugar and flour. ewww. Once you stop eating these things you will say ewww....white sugar actually looks so funny to me now. Enjoy good food.....Your body will love you for it.


And above all "BE PREPARED".......

FUN FUN FUN

It has been a few weeks sense I have visited this blog. I have been doing well and happy and moved house. Moving is a huge chapter in ones story and its a wonderful new beginning. I moved in my own house. All by my self. Don't get me wrong....I loved having room mates, wonderful women who showed me how they did it. All were single at a later stage in their life and had no idea when they were in their 20's and thinking of "happy ever after in a relationship / marriage" that in their 40's and even 50's and 60's and beyond that they would face single-hood, and dating even! If someone would have told me at age of 35 that at age of 50 that I would be DATING I would have fainted and laughed at the absurdness of it all! Now I look forward to that new chapter in the Cheryl Movie! Im so..."I need to go shopping for dating outfits and shoes and new perfume for the new me" :) fun fun fun .....and maybe just maybe DADDY WONT TAKE HER T BIRD AWAY..:) Maybe this girl gets to keep it!!

In my readings this morning it said that sometimes its difficult to know which choice to make to move forward in your destiny if it involves an upheaval in your life and the lives of those you touch. When that happens perhaps we are not the ones meant to make the choice. That is when one can ask "WHAT WOULD LOVE DO"?.....You know what??????? LOVE ALWAYS KNOWS :) OK...lets rephrase that one! "HEALTHY LOVE ALWAYS KNOWS" :)

THE CHERYL MOVIE

My friend Lisa calls segments on ones life "Movies" When I was her room mate it could have been "Cheryl cries in her bedroom all weekend and eats a huge bag of peanut m & m's" Movie...Ect. (Healed from Divorce in her house) One could hear Lisa say many days "Im NOT going to the (fill in any random name here) Movie" LOLOL I love that analogy as it makes it (Lives detours) all so temporary and puts it in perspective as a small part of ones life.

My life has many short films or movies or Acts as I call them like in a Hollywood movie.

Act 1 Was growing up, Act 2 Was Married and having my three beautiful Children, Act 3 was my second marriage and yes that consumed my whole world and was the whole third part of the "Cheryl Movie" Act three left one on the edge of ones seat and had it all just like any great movie...It left the viewers on the edge of their seats thinking and worrying about the HEROINE "How will she ever get out of this one"

Now...:)

Act 4 is to begin! the final act in "THE CHERYL MOVIE" I can tell you that in my mind it has started this week. Starting out slow like many final acts in movies. Yes the Cheryl movie was very complicated. Its a romantic comedy! It will end with everyone smiling and laughing at the same time. Its a feel good movie with "Wow" and "AWWW" and the end will leave you breathless. Grab good seats and a gallon of popcorn with butter and get ready for a wild ride.......Love you all....

Let Them Go!

My Pastor said this last Sunday and got it from a article. It's worth sharing!

There are people who can walk away from you
LISTEN!!.. When people can walk away from you: LET THEM WALK!!

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

I'm not religious but even the bible said that, "they went away from us so that it might be made known that they were not FOR US. For had they been WITH us, no doubt they would have CONTINUED with us."

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is OVER. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. I've got the gift of good-bye. It is a GIFT, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever the universe means for me to have it will GIVE it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

And HOW do you do that...???

let them go!!

Hang On!

Today I was reading about a lady (beautiful actress) who was in love with a married athlete who was wanting and loving her and yet would not leave his wife. She found herself for six years in a tunnel of darkness and sadness. In the end she was on location in South America filming and she fell down a huge hill and found herself dangling off a cliff. She was at a cross roads in life physically and spiritually!

QUOTE: ANY DAY THAT ENDS UP WITH YOU DANGLING OFF A SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN OR HANGING BY A SLENDER PSYCHIC THREAD SHOULD PROMPT THE VERY VALID QUESTION "HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID I GET HERE"?

Sitting there in the dark on the side of this mountain waiting for rescue she made a choice to let go (Of the bad relationship)! Simply let go and it would be over. She did get rescued and she did go home and break it completely off with this lover man and she did carry on to have a successful life. I bet she cried many days and got angry or maybe not ...Only God knows and is there when we are at this point of surrender.

It takes courage to live a good life and to live the life that is meant for us! Its easy to sink to behaviors that seem to lesson the pain. Food Drink Sex (Or what ever floats your boat in easing pain) and negative emotions all may help for a season of grief but the key word is SEASON. meaning that its a short time until the next season.

For goodness sakes pick yourself up and STOP now. Its done! Dont feel guilty it may have been just what you needed to grieve. ITS OK!

If you are in the winter season of life I want to remind you that its just a season and that spring is on its way. Full of new growth and brilliant colors and warm days and beautiful sunsets.. Butterflys...:) Don't choose to stay in the winter of your life.

Have the courage to let go and see where this wonderful life takes you!

Happy Birthday / Wilderness / Thursdays!

Today is my mentors Birthday. Happy Birthday Michael! Have a wonderful Day! Thank you for all you do for me and everyone that you help. You are awesome......

Every Thursday night at 6:55 I call up a 700 number on my phone for my weekly conference call. I have been doing this for a year now and it has literary transformed and changed my life in a dramatic way. My mentor Michael does these calls for a dynamic company that sells health care.

How has this helped me? Well first off I healed from a broken marriage and divorce on these calls and my work with Michael. LISTENING TO HIM AND DOING IT. Second I lost 45 lbs last year (A total of 50) and second and most important I have learned that I actually like Cheryl. She is super duper great. I also am a positive strong independent women now and happy and have a new job and looking forward to a grand future! I am proud of myself because for the first time in my life I have not quit.

This last year has been amazing for me and not at all easy work. My mentor along with Gods guidance has had me in a place of "Wilderness" and many of us are sent there at least one time in our lives. I was reading today that when we are sent in our wilderness its divine detour to bring us home to ourselves after a lifetime of running away! Powerful.....We can cry and yell and get mad in the wilderness yet no one hears us except the ones who sent us there. That is good. Its necessary! The wilderness is tough love and we were sent here for a special destiny and for one reason and one reason only "WOMEN FIND THYSELF" I learned to be happy and positive in my wilderness. I am still in my wilderness and can see im about to leave here soon! I will miss it and can create mini wildernesses in my life from now on to self reflect!

I want to highlight some of Thursday nights quotes from Michael on here to let you know what I learn that is so valuable:

The best way to predict your future is to create it
Be disciplined and self controlled at all times
Stay in the "positive zone" all day long.
Wake up happy and positive
Next December where will I be? In a good place or right here where I am not moving?
Be positive about my future
Eat marshmallows often
I have a choice and its up to me
Use the 1% rule (fighter jets can not even be 1% off or they crash, I can not be 1% off or I crash)
Have a vision of your future..see it
I am a strong brave responsible lady
My job is to say NO to negative thoughts and actions.
I will not settle for less then great
Remove the word CANT
Get over it!!!
Life is good
There is joy in this life
Do not ever stop
Rid yourself of naysayers
When you go negative "STOP IT NOW"
I have the power to impact my outcome
I have seen my future and it is good
Go get um!

The Dream

I put a picture of Mary Magdalen on this post because she is my saint and she choose me when I was baptized in 2004 and she guides me in life and she is a huge part of my life!

Last night I had a dream. It was not just any dream but one of those dreams that wake you up with a smile and feeling like you just witnessed something huge and profound! I woke up and am still in complete shock. I wrestled in my brain about the need to post it here and not in my private journal and yet I want to share it because its that huge.

At 4 A.M. I looked at my phone to see the time. Isn't it funny how I have a old fashioned clock radio next to my bed and I never have the correct time on that thing as i keep unplugging it. This my dear friends is called women spider webbing :) Its when women tell a story and branch off like a spider web does...OK back to the story. I seen that she (friend) called and called her back and she need a friend and i was blessed to be there for her. I then fell back into a very deep sleep.

That is when the magic happened. I believe God woke me up for all this..... (I can hear my friend Ashely and son for that matter laughing at my mystical emo brain right now) OK....So, Off to innocent dream land I went and I slept for about two and a half hours.

The Dream: This is HUGE....

I dreamed that I was standing facing someone (at this time I choose not to reveal that person) and he was looking into my eyes the way he does with so much love that its impossible to describe. He reached down and kissed my forehead very lovingly and protective and I smiled and looked up in his eyes and kissed him. In the lips very soft and gentle. It he then put his arms around me and responded and took over the kiss....:) Then we stopped....and I looked in his eyes and they said "This is it".....:) My hands distintavly went up to his face and I held them there touching his face and looking into his eyes. We did not speak any words much the same way we do now. We do not need words....and never will.

I then woke up with a feeling of calm and peace

Isnt that grand to wake up in the most perfect moment? I woke up and I rememberd the dream with clairity of it really happening. I never do that in dreams or hardly never. I have had a few like that in my life. I felt a feeling of love and protection.

God uses dreams to teach and show us things. When I went through a very hard time years ago and ran away to another country God used dreams before I went to tell me NOT TO GO...and TURN BACK and WARNING....I remember those dreams....and many times he uses dreams to tell me to keep going ...Move foreward and BRAVO Cheryl...This is such a good dream of what my future will hold. And it will be FANTASTIC.

Now the emo part...:) ah......................wow............Im stary eyed.....Will this come to pass? YEP O......When? Don't know is not my timing and thank goodness I dont have to stress on it.

Am I happy...YES!

Ok.....More will be revealed.........

Hahaha....None of you will know who is this? Its my secret and my mountain mans (Mountain man is a name I use for the man that is my soul mate and partner and will come collect me some day.

Music & Cheese!

I am in a odd sort of mood today. Not a bad mood and not a excited mood either. Just a mood of reflection and peace. Its snowing today and very dark and quiet outside. I am home in my little room job hunting and listening to music and just having a quiet day. I noticed this weekend a few new things about me. One being that I can enjoy all things British again. Music and cheese and people! I started going to a new church and today the music leader was British and talked about how he just got home from the UK! Last year that would have made me feel sad and I would not have gone back to that church. (I just divorced a man who was British) Today I smiled and loved his singing! and thought just now 'Wow, you are healing"!!

For some reason that still comes to a shock to me at I can and did heal! After three years I never thought that possible for me. I thought i was just going to be sad forever and never listen to Eric Clapton again! Actually I loved Erik Clapton and the Beatles before I met my ex husband.

What I'm trying to say is that I am not associating things that I love with my past relationship and that is just amazing. I am taking what I like and leave what did not serve me well into my future.

If I can help anyone reading this that is I have met alot of single people who have divorced and all told me that you do heal and will smile again and believe me I was a total skeptic! I would smile all the while thinking "Yea right" Well..YEA RIGHT...They were correct.

There is life after DIVORCE!..

Create Yourself In 2011!!!

Last night I was on a Conference call with my mentor and he said something interesting. I always say this year that I am "Finding Myself"! and yes that seemed correct as I am changing alot and yet it never felt right when I would set down and think it all out. Finding what? Was I lost? Where was I? Where do I start to look? and on and on.

Last night he said its not about finding ones self! Its all about "CREATING YOURSELF" and because im a artist that hit home for me as last January I was somewhat a blank slate and I began to create Cheryl using some of the old parts. When I first met Michael he said I was like a race car that was messed up and needed a rebuild! Did I mention that I have the best mentor in the world?

How have I worked on this creation called Cheryl last year? I have done so much. First I changed the way I talked and stopped being negative and then I found some great friends! I started working on the spiritual side of myself and then I started being very healthy. I eat only organic and am wheat, white flour and white sugar free, limited dairy. Very limited meat and cheese. I have not had fast food sense February of last year! No ice cream or candy or chips or anything bad. No alcohol in over a year. No pain killers like aspirin etc. No meds at all in a year. I take vitamins and supplements! I started working out and lifting weights and walking and jogging and then joined the YMCA. My new goal is to join a dance class of sometime once I get a job and know my hours of work.

I picked a mentor who I trusted and who I actually listen to. Do I like the things he asks me / and others to do? Some of them I love and some take discipline to do them. Its not hard stuff and I just make it hard! Like he wans us to drink water first thing in the A.M. when we wake up and to eat some fruit or veggies. I wake up with a "water":(.....serious and I do it because I know its good for me and I feel so much better drinking more water. Then he me drinking water all day long. Its a choice weather I do it and the consequences of not drinking water are that my skin feels dry and I stop loosing weight and feel awful.

This is 2011! Lets all of us go out and Create a different and new person. Take some of the old and leave the rest in 2010! Carolyn says "DONT BE SORRY BE DIFFERENT" I love that! and Michael says "JUST DO IT" and "KEEP GOING"...

Keep going.....and going!

Im excited about 2011 and had a awesome 2010!

PS. Happy New Year!