Wednesday, September 29
Wednesday, September 22
I am so excited that tomorrow is the first day of fall that I can not even wait until tomorrow to write about it! I am going to go up North to Leadville Colorado on Saturday with Becky and Kevin and we are going to ride the train :) Its going to be beautiful to see the changing leaves and fall colors. I will write about it and have pics as Kevin is going with us. Kevin is a good friend of Beckys. Ok off to get ready for work.
Sunday, September 19
Who Do You Admire? Why?
Today in my Simple Abundance book a question was asked: "Who are the women you admire and why"? Women I admire.....
First and foremost I admire my mom. She has had a challenging life and at age 70 has turned it all around and is starting OVER! She inspires me as i am starting over and if she can do it then I can do it!
I was thinking yesterday after I told a friend that I call my mom daily and i was thinking about why? Yes I love her! and She is my MOM!
Mom simply makes me smile and she always gives me positive answers and positive statements. She spews positiveness in the universe and always has done when i talk to her. She gets EXCITED and i mean real excited at things like that im almost in a size 8! or that my man in the mountain is going to come some day. She claims there is a man up in Cheyenne mountain that will "collect' me soon :) So cute and POSITIVE happy.....That is mom! When the kids were little and i was exasperated at things like potty training she would say things like "oh well, she will be potty trained on her wedding day so dont worry" :) serious....Mom...I admire mom.
My friends present and past are the same. I admire them when they are positive and full of faith. When they let God do the work and have faith that its
Gods will and all will turn out just as he has planned! I love that! When you loose a job a friend says "God will have a new better one for you, HOW EXCITING and FUN" :) When you divorce a friend says "Wow, i cant wait to see what God has planned for your life, I'm so excited for you" A friend recently said that to me ......
I admire homemakers who love their families and devote their time to their husbands, children and grand children. I love women CEO's of big companies who are fair and successful. I admire women who have come out of abuse and can help others and one of my new friends is that! She had horror in her and her children's lives and yet here she is successful and trusting God and inspiring me to NO end! She is amazing.
I admire my sister and cousin and my daughters. All who have had a rough time in life and yet all are wonderful, beautiful and my hero's!
That is it for now......
OH yea one more...............I admire ME :) I admire Cheryl and the way she inspires others and is getting more positive by the day and is moving forward and I have discovered its ok to admire yourself at times and to love Cheryl! She is good.....
First and foremost I admire my mom. She has had a challenging life and at age 70 has turned it all around and is starting OVER! She inspires me as i am starting over and if she can do it then I can do it!
I was thinking yesterday after I told a friend that I call my mom daily and i was thinking about why? Yes I love her! and She is my MOM!
Mom simply makes me smile and she always gives me positive answers and positive statements. She spews positiveness in the universe and always has done when i talk to her. She gets EXCITED and i mean real excited at things like that im almost in a size 8! or that my man in the mountain is going to come some day. She claims there is a man up in Cheyenne mountain that will "collect' me soon :) So cute and POSITIVE happy.....That is mom! When the kids were little and i was exasperated at things like potty training she would say things like "oh well, she will be potty trained on her wedding day so dont worry" :) serious....Mom...I admire mom.
My friends present and past are the same. I admire them when they are positive and full of faith. When they let God do the work and have faith that its
Gods will and all will turn out just as he has planned! I love that! When you loose a job a friend says "God will have a new better one for you, HOW EXCITING and FUN" :) When you divorce a friend says "Wow, i cant wait to see what God has planned for your life, I'm so excited for you" A friend recently said that to me ......
I admire homemakers who love their families and devote their time to their husbands, children and grand children. I love women CEO's of big companies who are fair and successful. I admire women who have come out of abuse and can help others and one of my new friends is that! She had horror in her and her children's lives and yet here she is successful and trusting God and inspiring me to NO end! She is amazing.
I admire my sister and cousin and my daughters. All who have had a rough time in life and yet all are wonderful, beautiful and my hero's!
That is it for now......
OH yea one more...............I admire ME :) I admire Cheryl and the way she inspires others and is getting more positive by the day and is moving forward and I have discovered its ok to admire yourself at times and to love Cheryl! She is good.....
Thursday, September 16
Yesterday I went belly up and that is not a pretty picture when one is at a desk at work and one is doing sells! I actually had a pretty good sales day and was able to put on a smile with each call .....It was the between calls that was shameful!
I was crying all day on and off and in the bathroom and a mess. Why you ask? I set here figuring it out and I think its just all the pent up fake smiles that finally got to me. On most days im really happy and yet I know i have not given myself enough alone grief time in the past few weeks as i have been having so much fun!
Why am I in grief? I have been separated for three years and our marriage over for more like six years and yet I feel grief. Do i still want to be married to my ex? Does he want to be married to me? NO .....Do I miss him? NO....I miss his friendship at times and know that maybe we can get that back someday. What is it? I filed divorce and smiled my way thorough it because I was finally healing and finally in a strong place to face reality and do what God wanted me to do. Why? Why now? Why on Wed Sept 15 did I go almost belly up?
My room mate just nailed it on the head. I was grieving not for a loss of my ex husband as a husband but I was griving out the loss of a dream. When I was a little girl they would ask "Cheryl, what do you want to be when you grow up" I would say "A wife and mommmy" I wanted to be a mom and to bake cakes and cupcakes for class parties! and I did that! Every year of my sons six years in school i was the head room mom. Not just a room mom but head room mom!
I now am here single and wondering where i went wrong? No answers come and that is what made me cry yesterday. I want this divorce to be all put in a neat little box with bows and all nice! I want to know all the answers so i wont do it again if I did something in the first place to cause such a mess.
I have a court date in a few weeks and that will be a part of closure and I know we both will be relieved when this is over. We talked a bit yesterday and he wished me well and and I wish him well and happiness and YES I want him to find love again. I know that he will and so will I.
Today Im ok. Going to work and going to smile and sale like crazy. This letting your grief come when it needs to come is ok. My boss talked to me last night and we have a plan if this happens again yet i know that was a one time thing for me and I have worked it through and lost a pound so far this week! I did not use food as an excape.
Thats all. Hope I made sense......
I was crying all day on and off and in the bathroom and a mess. Why you ask? I set here figuring it out and I think its just all the pent up fake smiles that finally got to me. On most days im really happy and yet I know i have not given myself enough alone grief time in the past few weeks as i have been having so much fun!
Why am I in grief? I have been separated for three years and our marriage over for more like six years and yet I feel grief. Do i still want to be married to my ex? Does he want to be married to me? NO .....Do I miss him? NO....I miss his friendship at times and know that maybe we can get that back someday. What is it? I filed divorce and smiled my way thorough it because I was finally healing and finally in a strong place to face reality and do what God wanted me to do. Why? Why now? Why on Wed Sept 15 did I go almost belly up?
My room mate just nailed it on the head. I was grieving not for a loss of my ex husband as a husband but I was griving out the loss of a dream. When I was a little girl they would ask "Cheryl, what do you want to be when you grow up" I would say "A wife and mommmy" I wanted to be a mom and to bake cakes and cupcakes for class parties! and I did that! Every year of my sons six years in school i was the head room mom. Not just a room mom but head room mom!
I now am here single and wondering where i went wrong? No answers come and that is what made me cry yesterday. I want this divorce to be all put in a neat little box with bows and all nice! I want to know all the answers so i wont do it again if I did something in the first place to cause such a mess.
I have a court date in a few weeks and that will be a part of closure and I know we both will be relieved when this is over. We talked a bit yesterday and he wished me well and and I wish him well and happiness and YES I want him to find love again. I know that he will and so will I.
Today Im ok. Going to work and going to smile and sale like crazy. This letting your grief come when it needs to come is ok. My boss talked to me last night and we have a plan if this happens again yet i know that was a one time thing for me and I have worked it through and lost a pound so far this week! I did not use food as an excape.
Thats all. Hope I made sense......
Wednesday, September 8
The Dream
I woke up at 4:30 this morning and could not get up yet was wide awake so I just started praying and soon feel asleep and in a very deep sleep which I have not done lately. I had a dream. Not just a scattered dream but a vivid dream that was just as if i was awake and I still remember every detail. That is very unusual for me and I have not had a dream like that in over 10 years or more.
It was from God.....
I dreamed that I was walking through a parking lot and I spotted a car. It was a big grey colored car and inside sat my soon to be ex husband in the passengers side. I got in the drivers side and looked at him and he said "Hi Cheryl, I am going to go be with my new wife now. I love her and I am happy" I looked in his eyes and he was happy and I asked about his "wife" and he said that she was very sweet and loved just him and they were getting married soon. He said he talked to my mom about it (I know its a dream lol) and she liked her as well. I then told him that I was in love but could not talk about it right now but that I am very happy as well. We then smiled at each other and for a instant I had a bad feeling .....sad feeling and then I felt peace. Wanted happiness for him.
I then said good bye for now......and got out of the car and walked away and just woke up to write this.
Wow......
I do not have huge God moments like this often to never and this was one of them and im in awe of it....and grateful that I have such a God To come to me in a dream just when i need it most.
It was from God.....
I dreamed that I was walking through a parking lot and I spotted a car. It was a big grey colored car and inside sat my soon to be ex husband in the passengers side. I got in the drivers side and looked at him and he said "Hi Cheryl, I am going to go be with my new wife now. I love her and I am happy" I looked in his eyes and he was happy and I asked about his "wife" and he said that she was very sweet and loved just him and they were getting married soon. He said he talked to my mom about it (I know its a dream lol) and she liked her as well. I then told him that I was in love but could not talk about it right now but that I am very happy as well. We then smiled at each other and for a instant I had a bad feeling .....sad feeling and then I felt peace. Wanted happiness for him.
I then said good bye for now......and got out of the car and walked away and just woke up to write this.
Wow......
I do not have huge God moments like this often to never and this was one of them and im in awe of it....and grateful that I have such a God To come to me in a dream just when i need it most.
Wednesday, September 1
FaLL
Today is the first day of fall in Cheryl's own private world. Not really the first day of fall by the calender yet its feeling "fallish" I LOVE autumn and everything about it and always have done. Mind you spring is close second. I love all the seasons and am so grateful that God made the seasons on the earth and in our life. When one ends you can be sure the next season is right there waiting. My blog is called "The summer that changed my life" I did not make that up :) Yet, it applies. I may have to change it to "The Autumn that changed my life". Then winter and so on because we are always changing for the better!
I love how in the start of autumn that the air seems to change over night (like this morning) and the morning air starts to feel a crisp cold in anticipation of winter. The change of color is brilliant. Rich browns and oranges and yellow and magnificent deep reds. I love the images of pumpkins and harvest! Pumpkin and apple pie and hey rides and harvest. A time to remember the bounty that God provides us each day. To put away for winter and prepare!
Did I mention that I love Autumn? :)
Now wait until OCTOBER hits. That is my favorite month of all time!
I love how in the start of autumn that the air seems to change over night (like this morning) and the morning air starts to feel a crisp cold in anticipation of winter. The change of color is brilliant. Rich browns and oranges and yellow and magnificent deep reds. I love the images of pumpkins and harvest! Pumpkin and apple pie and hey rides and harvest. A time to remember the bounty that God provides us each day. To put away for winter and prepare!
Did I mention that I love Autumn? :)
Now wait until OCTOBER hits. That is my favorite month of all time!
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