Eating Well

(The Picture is Erik and Deb making some great Hand made pasta...

I just got back from a visit with my grown kids and had a wonderful time with them and their partners. One thing that struck me about the visit is how Brandon said to me that it was so impressive that I eat as well as they do on my little income. I buy only the best food and drink and shop at happy places :) like Whole foods and Sunflower and Natural grocers. I eat better then many of the rich people in the USA and I do not spend that much more. People say to me they cant afford to eat healthy? What is the price of health?

I made decision to eat organic, grass fed foods when I can. I eat locally when I can and eat mainly Paleo. Meats, vegies and fruits, nuts and chocolate! Bit of dairy and a few good oils (olive, coconut and grass fed butter) and I use coconut sugar and local wildflower honey, I drink only the best on occasion. A glass of good red wine etc.....I only eat grains for special occasions (dining out somewhere special etc). If it tastes bad I do not eat it. I waste very little.

You can get flyers from the stores mentioned above and get deals. They had lobster tails at Sunflower for 4 dollars a pound this week! Their meat sales are amazing. Whole foods has the best apples and do have sales as well. I do prefer to spend 25 cents etc a pound more for a great apple that is not mealy. Farmers markets are another place to get good food as well as food co ops etc.

The point is that even on a very limited budget you can eat well and feed your family well. Costco has great values on organic foods in bulk as well...


Ok off to the gym.....:)

Happy New Year!

This is my last blog entry for 2011!

2010 was an awesome year and 2011 was even better and I can only suspect that 2012 will out do them all! I started a fun new position at a preschool and met some great ladies and kids and made some lasting friendships this year. I bought a new little car and landed my first apartment which i call "The Hobbit Hole" because its in the basement of a old Victorian house and so cute yet short in the bathroom (If you are six feet tall your head will hit the ceiling) .

I went on a few great hikes around Colorado! A five mile at Palmer Park and the daunting Incline as well as learned line dancing and how to do a simple swing dance and how to Zumba! I started beading and photography!

I am thinking of goals for 2012 and i want to organize myself and keep up with my blog and home journal. To laugh more and play more and to have fun! To spend a day just playing with my camera somewhere fab.....

To let those I love live the way they choose without judgements and criticisms in my head. To love more.....To be in love and let myself fall in love....

Life is grand!

Happy New Year.....

Walter & Cheryl

Today I went to my old company where they were having a open house. I talked to old friends and old bosses and I went on a cool thing called the bio mat and almost went to sleep. I was so relaxed! I left smiling and so happy and at peace. It got me to thinking ;)

I went to see the muppet movie with my friend Kevin last weekend. People, I use to dislike the Muppet's. Really. I decided to give them a try. I have never seen any of their movies etc. They just creeped me out..big time. I was in for a surprise and delight. I LOVED IT..serious. I love the muppets! I laughed and was glued to the screen. This is a huge step for me! ;)

The main character Walter was born into a real human family and the trouble is Walter is a Muppet. :) He really did not belong and until he found the other muppets.

That is how it was when I found my old company. :) so today when i visited them all I was so happy...My people....Into health and wellness and happy and positive and accepting me for me....Love you guys. Life is good (mg)

HOW TO START BEING A POSITIVE GIRLIEPOO

I have not been here in a few weeks! I have had more then a few people come up to me and ask me how i stay so happy and positive and I tell them that it was a habit that I had to learn and then practice and develop. Two years ago when I first started practicing it I would be positive about everything all day long to the point of it being silly. Yet, it helped me develop my positive lifestyle. I would say happy things about even the most awful situations and was a bit irritating to a few people and the ones that love me knew that I was in learning mode and they just smiled at me. For months I would spend the whole day just practicing it and saying good things. I smiled....and I laughed.

Now..where am I? I am real now. I allowed myself to go back to Cheryl and what Cheryl believes and I now pull out my positive attitude daily. When a situation is wrong or gross ..I call it wrong or gross now. I do not find the good in all bad every time. Yes, I still will look for good in all and I still smile and I still pull out my positive attitude and yet i am real. People are now able to talk to me and get a real answer and not a Pollyanna "oh lets be glad" answer...

I am sharing this because I believe my two years of just being a positive robot were needed to develop a new way of thinking If you want to be a happier and more positive person I challenge you to go into the Positive thinking boot camp like I did and just think about what you say all day long and only come back with something helpful and happy and do this for months or two years like I did. I still do that 99 percent of the day and when I get into stinky thinking and try to justify it I simply empty the old excuse bucket (mg) and know that its old habits that are creeping up.

Have a great day....and be happy life is good....(mg)

YES, To being READY in life...

Yesterday I came home from work and my landlords had put up some new blinds and etc. I smiled and went on with my night. This morning I got to thinking as I am getting ready for my last chores before I leave for work. Every morning I pick up and usually do the dishes and always make my bed nice. My apt looks cute and in order and I have NO fear of anyone coming in as and I did not know they were even going to show up yesterday. I was just organized in this area.

Now....Is Cheryl organized with her body? Can someone call her up and say "Put on your little black dress" and then Cheryl can go in and feel great? The same with swim suits, shorts and cute little jeans. Yes, I have come a long way and its important to keep the weight I lost off and tone it up.

I want to encourage everyone to organize their food plans and exercise plans today. Get ready because you never know when a big events will just happen or even the little ones where the great jeans look great :)

I just want to remind myself to stay organized in all areas. Like my made up bed...No worries. Its done....

Testing Fences

I got this today and wanted to share it. Its awsome! I sometimes fight against my fences and in the past broke through them. Now I want to be happy in my safe place.....

Thanks Marybeth

Marybeth Whalen
http://www.proverbs31.org/speakingministry/speakerteam/MaryBethWhalen.php


“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:6 (NIV)

Each morning when I let my dog out he does a lap around the perimeter of our yard and then comes back to ram his body against the gate, just to see if he can get out of the confinement we’ve put him in. He looks over at me as he does it, as if to say, “Just checking.” The other morning I was laughing about what a silly dog he is. Then it occurred to me that I am not that different from him when it comes to the fences in my life.

Like my dog, I have a Master who has constructed boundaries to keep me safe. But I don’t always like those boundaries. I don’t understand why they have to be there. Why can’t I just be free to roam where I please, call my own shots, make my own decisions? Why must there be fences to hem me in?

Like my dog, I am quick to forget that those fences are there for my protection. And so I go around kicking them, testing them, pushing against them instead of accepting them. Instead of trusting, I just feel trapped.

As I look back over my life, I can see many fences I’ve tested. When God made me a mother, I questioned the position I’d landed in. Perhaps I’d be better off somewhere else, doing something else.

When God directed us to do whatever it took to get our finances under control, I longed for the days when I could run free with my credit card.

When marriage got really, really hard, I wondered if I was meant to be bound to this one man forever.

When God called me to homeschooling, I resisted being tied to my home and children, slow to realize that God placed me there to teach me things I could’ve never learned otherwise.

As I’ve surveyed the path of my purpose, I’ve found myself wondering if another path would be better—if I am truly where I am supposed to be.

It seems I have struggled with every boundary, pushing against every fence God has ever erected in my life. Instead of seeing the place He puts me as a reason for my safety, I dwell on how it inhibits me.

I can see how those boundaries kept me in a place where He could reach me. And when the time came, I saw the benefits of those boundaries. Through motherhood, I learned to be a servant. Through marriage I learned to forgive and accept forgiveness. Through paying off debt, I learned the blessings of financial freedom. Through homeschooling I learned to lay down my agenda for His. I am a better person—and I know God better—through the boundaries in my life.

Have you struggled with some boundaries of your own? Maybe today you’re looking at the fences in your life and wanting to throw yourself against them instead of seeing them as pleasant places and trusting that within those confines waits your delightful inheritance. Maybe you’ve forgotten that your Master erected those perimeters for your good.

This morning a neighbor knocked at our door. My dog had pushed against the fence and this time it had given way. He had escaped and gone for a romp through our neighborhood, happy and free, oblivious to the cars that could have hit him, the dog catcher who would be only too happy to put him in the pound.

The neighbor brought him back to me and I put him in the fence, this time making sure the gate was securely latched. He still didn’t understand the need for his fence. But I, his master, do. He just has to trust that I have erected the fence for his safety, and dwell in his pleasant place. Just like me.

Dear Lord, help me to stop pushing against the boundaries You’ve erected in my life. Help me to instead see those perimeters as existing for my protection and my good. Let me see where You have me as a pleasant place, no matter where that might be. I want to stop testing the fences and dwell in Your safe pasture, trusting and content. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Little Green Box / Changes

The picture is my new little table from my friend Connie...I just love it and my french press and special coffee cup!

Yesterday I got two items i have been obsessed about. One is my big Brun coffee pot. I bought it years ago and it has been my friend first thing on many mornings and other then that no special sentiment was attached to that pot! The other item was my old recipe box. I have had that sense my home EC class back along ago and have collected alot of recipes over the years.

I have bugged Kevin D and Tami for over a year new to find these items that are stored in their home and they have looked and looked for over a year now and finally came across them a few days ago. I was over the moon with delight. Serious.... I woke up yesterday morning all excited (yea my stuff today) and called my mom telling her how excited I was and after dance lessons I hurried over to their house to get my treasures of long ago :) ....I was truly excited.

After a friendly visit and a relief I am sure that I wont be harping them about the green box and coffee pot anymore I took my items home...YEA......

Ok.......Those items are from the past and of old things and a old life and yesterday showed me a few things for sure.

First off my pot has been stored for two years now and I needed to clean it up before I brewed coffee for my Sunday morning laz...:) I filled it with cold water and turned it on and let it go through a cycle and all of a sudden black smoke poured out of it. I hurried up and shut it off before the smoke detector came on! ok....I had to say good bye to Mr Brun and off he went to the huge green bin out back....bummer...

I then spotted my beautiful Bodum french press and decided that I have moved way on from that old coffee pot and this blowing up of my coffee pot was a way of letting go of the past and to embrace change in my life. Good changes! YEA....Change is good.

Next came my little green recipe file...I opened it up and started looking through the files. They were full of recipes that could actually kill a person let alone a whole family. I kept the few that meant alot to me which were five recipes! and tossed out the ones with white sugar and white flour (most I have never even made ) I do not need them and will not serve them to anyone I love or even those I do not like! I then spotted my Greens recipe book from Erik and Brandon and know that I can make beautiful whole yummy food without harm...again changes....good changes. I will fill that little green box with great yummy healthy recipes. I can hardly wait....

I woke up this morning feeling a step in the right direction and light and free...Life Is Good (MG)

I just heard on the radio about a study that was done concerning how we can sometimes just "EAT IT" even if it does not taste good! Habit eating....The study took movie goers and gave them stale days old popcorn that did not taste good and guess what? They ate it......I have been guilty of this kind of unconscious eating and just did it recently in a restaurant. It was a bread roll that i remembered that i loved and one bite and it was not that over the moon as I remembered and yet..I ATE IT....dumb..really bad. I did that with a brownie recently. It was awful and I ate it to not insult people. Today I challenge you and most of all myself to eat consciously and look at and taste everything and if it is not good then just do not eat it. Its if rotten or stale or just icky don't do it...I have this coffee in my fridge and its awful...serious....and I drink it because i can not afford new coffee until next week. Next time before i try something new I will just buy one days worth and then go from there. The situations that lead to eating unconsciously is car eating (remember that dreadful rolled tortilla filled with that awful goo) ew. Television eating...the worse one and eating at your desk.... Have a great Monday....

Riding the "0"

I have lost weight a few times in my life and every single time I do what I call "Riding a 0" I tell myself all day "Cheryl, ride the 0".......and when I do that I get weight loss results!

Riding the 0 is when you rate your hunger level. We all know how to do that and some use numbers to help visulize the various hunger levels. 0 is when you are very very hungry / skip meal hungry. 1 to 4 is when you are hungry in various levels and you loose weight when you eat at any level from 0 to 4...5 is when you are comfy full.....and where you maintain weight. 6 to 7 is full and you are pretty much overeating and 8 to 9 is stuffing and where you gain weight...10 is a Thanksgiving full where you are sick and you are going to gain very fast!

Riding a 0 is where you skip eating or eat just a apple for lunch or in my case a few chocolate almonds and a apple.

IT has been proven that eating less is now good for you and not the bad health hazard like thought before and literary fasting / not eating or riding a 0 or just drinking fruit juice to cleanse is great for you and has health benefits like no other!

If you want to loose weight you at some time have to ride a 0....Its just the way it is....You are sometimes hungry when you loose weight....

Ok off to work....:)

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles, and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers, because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Alaska.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working, so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

Isn't it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Tell Your Story and Zumba

When I first had my marriage break up back in 2005 I told my sad tale to anyone who would listen ...everyone was my target. Lady in line at the store and the checker as well. I never felt good about that and last year stopped telling my story to anyone and everyone. It was a abstinence from dwelling on my "story"


Recently I decided to tell my story only when I felt led to do so and of course telling the end part where my life now rocks and today was just a day and my story is no longer a sad tale :) Its a story of a women who went belly up and then climbed a mountain of forgiveness and faith and healing and who dances and climbs mountains. Its a "If I can do it, YOU can do it" story.....

I told my story today to my exercise instructor (Her IPOD broke and she did not have class which let me have a one on one with her, A God thing?...you bet) and she cried and said "wow....you are such a light and what a story".....I told her because I wanted to ask her about dance lessons and ask her to show me how to zumba my hips :) lol...and she did teach me right there.....She was just right then going through something dreadful and I think I inspired her. This beautiful girl....what a blessing...

LIfe is good people...tell your story....

And for goodness sakes...MOVE YOUR HIPS.....zumba!!!!

Shopping

I am always amazed at the reaction I get when I tell people that I go to Whole Foods and shop. They give me that evil "you are so extravagant look...:) and say "wow, that is expensive" Yes, it can be if you shop in the middle isle and buy all the expensive imported sauces and chocolates. If you buy the produce on sale like I do you get a good deal and the most excellent produce. I can not tell you how many mealy tasteless apples I have bought this year and I never get that at Whole Foods. Yes, I do sometimes spend maybe 1 dollar more for apples in total (not per pound) and sometimes not and sometimes they are cheaper then the local grocery store. I shop all over as well. I go to Sunflower market and the local farmers markets when I have a empty Sat morning and yes the grocery store and Costco!

Let me ask if you are shaking your head thinking "Cheryl, a dollar is a dollar and im not going to spend 1 dollar more for apples" well....Look at what you do spend more on. Starbucks? etc Fast food, candy, ice cream and eating out?

I had to take a look at that over a year ago when I first started eating whole organic and yes expensive food. My health is worth a extra dollar and boy do I enjoy that wonderful crispy juicy apple...:) Its not just apples now.. Its everything I eat. I look for the very best for my money yummy coffee beans and organic blue agave syrup and organic half and half etc.....Eat well and live big!

Paleo Chicken Nuggets

PALEO CHICKEN NUGGETS

I just made these to eat at work next week.

CHICKEN BONELESS CHICKEN BREASTS (TENDERS ARE GOOD)
DRIZZLE OF OLIVE OIL
ALMOND MEAL (USED RED MILL)
SALT
GARLIC POWDER

MIX ALMOND MEAL WITH SALT AND GARLIC POWDER. TOSS THE CHICKEN PIECES IN THE OLIVE OIL AND PLACE ALMOND MEAL IN A PLASTIC BAG AND ADD THE CHICKEN PIECES AND SHAKE. BAKE 400 FOR ABOUT 30 MINUTES. YUM.....

Erik

I just was sitting here reading your journal that I started when you were 9 years old. Years later and a much grown up mom. Reading brought back to the great times of watching you grow up the last few years in Turlock..good years. Erik i am very proud of you. In my wildest dreams I could not have asked for a better son.

You have grown into a man of honor and integrity. When i was a young girl people would ask me "what do you want to be when you grow up" I would say "a mommy" I am so proud of "ME" as did it. Look at you three kids. Anything else I do is icing on the cake. Did I make mistakes..Yea....You kids and your self reliant attitudes have inspired me this year to be brave and stand tall.

I am so proud of your work and what you have accomplished all on your own with hard work and determination.

Brandon....The only thing I have to say about Brandon is he is a treasure!......I am so proud of the partner you are to Brandon.....You inspire me to be that partner someday.

Always remember. Volcano's with flour all over the kitchen and back yard homemade swimming pools...

Love you.....

Ashley

What can I say about my Ashweed? I wrote some of this last year and put it in your journal. Ashley I am so stinken proud of the beautiful women you have become!

You are a good wife to Roger and a beautiful daughter and sister! Your work ethics are amazing.... You give me strength and courage this last year and I am blessed to have a daughter such as you! Ashley I went through a long winter season in my life because i was not content in all that God gave me in life. Baby be content in all that is good in your life and be positive, joyful and happy!

Happy Birthday Amanda

Today is your birthday!!

What can I say about you? You were my last baby and have been the one in our family to make us smile and laugh. You called me last night and guess what? You made me smile and yes laugh until my sides hurt. That is Amanda.....I tease you about being a "bad" baby and how you cried for week and its just to make you laugh. She was not really a bad baby. You just wanted her mommy and wanted to be loved and held. You Grammy called you the "hanging baby" as I held you as I took care of her brother Erik and sister Ash.

One time you wanted to get money from a tooth fairy and your dad told you that you had to loose a tooth first and you went right in the bathroom and with players took out a tooth that was not even lose. That is my Amanda.....

You and I lived in Colorado together alone for seven months and those months we were brave together in what was a very scary time. We just laughed our way through it.....Manman, always remember: 7-11, Hot cheetos, Going to get slurpies in the snow at midnight, walks in the snow, Indian food, Dar and the boys, The older man up stairs, Trips to dollar city, the library, Twinson.

Amanda you have grown up to be the women that I always imagined you to be. You are a women of honor and grace and I am proud to be called you MOM today. I love you very much and this is my present to you. My gift of words. God did a wonderful thing when he gave me you that August 10, 1990. He knew just what our little family needed.

You are a child of God and a daughter and a sister and now a girlfriend to Dustin...Life is good baby,

Love you very much,

MOMMY

Food As Medicine

I have been thinking a long time about food as medicine and surely it is. Its fuel and it also heals us or it can harm and even kill us if we eat the wrong foods year after year. Especially if we over eat them and eat them in huge portions day after day. I went to a dance yesterday and ate potato salad. You know the old fashioned one made white potatoes swimming in mayo :) I ate 1/4 cup of it and so do not feel so bad and and about to go on a four / five mile hike in a hour!

I know that its proven that apples actually heal your body as wells as all the fruits. Antioxidants! They kill the bad cells that develope from all the toxins in our world. Good fats eaten with good carbs can keep your blood sugar in the proper range as the oils slow down the digestion of the carbs...MEDICINE!! Coffee wakes up the brain and does wonders :)

Lisa (see cast members) tells me about our cortisol levels and aging and how stress affects our levels and how food can heal this! She insists on going on a rich meat and oil diet for a day to help her out when she is stressed out. It works....

I have eaten fruits and vegies and olive oil and lean protein (not meat every day) like yogurts and chicken and fish and some lean beef and pork and raw sugars like honey, Organic only when I can and GLUTEN FREE. And most important: filtered water... My numbers at the doctor were:

Cholesteral: Like a teenager
Blood Sugar: Non diabetic
Blood Pressure: Like a teenager
and most important:

BRAIN: Happy, Joyful, and looking forward to a grand future. UNWONKED.....:)

A year ago I was slammin big macs and frozen pizza....:) and in turn I was depressed and hopeless and wonkedup.....

In

Life is good..Ok off to my hike.....

Let The Past Go!

We all have a story to tell and the older we get the more we have to tell! Some of our stories are great and wonderful and some are not so good with pain and devastation. I have such a story and it is a few years in the making. What I have had to learn is that I AM NOT MY STORY!! I am not that two years of whatever and until I decided to find out who I was and I have done that was I able to live a abundant life.

My life-coach tells me I am not my story and that I have to move past it and to let the past go in order for me to move into my future. I have done that and am working on it daily. I am becoming a new creation and a bit of the old Cheryl...The Cheryl Lynn that was always there is coming alive!

If you are stuck in a past story then I ask you why? How does that serve you? Does it allow you to remain a "poor me victim"? and how fun is that? NOT.....How do you let go of the past?

You have to practice it daily in your thoughts. When a stinky thought comes to your mind you have to cast it out and replace it with a positive thought. When you think "Oh my, I cant believe I did that" you say "Who cares"? You are different now and move on!

Life is good and we have the power to create our future!!! (MrG)

Today at church they played part of the move "The Matrix" The part where Neo asks Morpheus to explain the matrix and Morpheus holds out two hands and in each hand there is a pill, ONE RED AND ONE BLUE.

Morpheus: “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

Wow....

That pretty much sums up my life, how about yours? I had a choice just like that a year and a half ago. Last year i had the choice ....take the blue pill and stay in my life as it was....or take the red pill full of change and happiness and growth and yes "wonderland"...

Some days i think "blue pill come and get me" :) and then I carry on and do the next correct thing and am so happy I choose red and life!

Life is friggen good!!!

More to come....

Confidence

Confidence .....I can not say enough about how that one state of being impacts our life as women. It makes a huge difference in life with work, friendships and even love....

Most of you know i work in a infant room and we have two sweet little girls right now. One is very confident. She looks you in the eye and she has these big eyes and is is as cute as can be. She is boisterous and laughs very loud and her eyes are huge and she mesmerizes you. When strangers walk in she yells out and laughs and they look at her and she flirts away and gets a "hello, my arnt you a cutie" and she is all over that. She knows she is cute and goes after the complement and gets it each time.

Then there is the other sweetie pie. She may appear not as confident and yet her teachers know better. She is shy and does not like strangers and when they enter the room she looks away and cry's and people say "oh wow, she does not like strangers" They never say she is cute etc and yet I have just really bonded with her and when she smiles she is just beautiful and cute and knows how to flirt! She can mesmerize you with her eyes as well as baby above when she wants to. Key here is "when she wants to" :)

Both children have great parents who are confidant and both girls are as different as night and day. I more like the second sweetie pie. I am shy and it takes me a bit of time to trust people and I suspect i was always like this and now with people who tell me im good, smart and yes pretty (us women do need that from time to time) I am rocking...:)

My life-coach said this week that we can hover on the ground with the pigeons or we can sail through the sky with the eagles. I choose the eagles! and choose to be the eagle in everyone's life today.

I am sure this is the key to building self esteem / confidence. Choose friends, work associates, life mates etc that build you up and then you be that person as well. Strip the negative people from your life. The emotional vampires that suck the life out of you. :) and have fun for goodness sakes...