The Big Kahuna

I was just reading in my "Simple Abundance Book" and this line really touched me and in fact the whole November 16th page rocked me today. Yes, I am not going in order. I just started in Feb or so of this year and some days I do 2 pages! Nov 16 is called "Riding The Big Kahuna" Catch the Wave! Sounds so exciting and life can be like that every day!

Think about when a surfer rides the wave. They are on top of the world and every thing is exciting and then they come crashing down with the wave and smiling and laughing and having fun. They then are just on still waters and going with the flow in peace waiting for the next big wave! wooo hooo......Life can be like that and is like that yet we are sometimes afraid of the waves in our life and choose to let them crush us and tumble us and toss us every which way....We can at any time choose to ride the wave and go with it with a positive attitude.

How? Simple..LOVE...Gods love and love of friends and family and a husband or wife and even pets! The book says we are fueled by high octane love :) I love that!

I have found love here in Colorado and in California! My kids love mom....no matter what. My family and mom loves me! :) ....I found love in good people who love me no matter what happened to me the last three years and who loved me through it and will keep being hard on me to help me make my goal! How cool is that? I found love in all my room mates and coworkers and friends! I found love in one person who wont give up on me not matter what. I am blown away.....Not romantic love yet in my life and they ask nothing in return.

Now...I will go out and copy them! And love......and know that I will be blessed to see a changed life. Life is great!

What I Do? or Woo Hoo I'm 142

I was very pleased to step on the scale to see that im down another pound! I started at 180 last November and have slowly lost a pound here and a pound there.

What is more important is that I have made some life changes and I want to inspire other women my age that its never too late in life to get healthy. I am just beginning a new life and want to start it healthy and the best Cheryl I can be :) A lot of people ask me "What do you do or What did you do" so I will list a few of the changed I have made sense February of this year.

I get up each A.M and pray and read a good inspiration of some kind. (Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach)

I go to church. I go to bible study. I go to a few groups that support me.

When I feel sad or negative I stop and start over with my thinking. I take every thought captive on most thoughts. When I stop doing that ...I START again! Even if it takes me a few hours. I do it. I have people in my life that will not let me cry or moan and expect me to snap out of it FAST.....

I surround myself with good positive people...and I become the person I would like to surround myself with!

I believe and dream big!

First thing in the A.M. I drink 20 oz of water
Then I eat fruit
Then breakfast and coffee
Fresh whole food.
No wheat at this time (may add it back someday)
No packaged processed canned foods frozen food
No fast food and limited eating out at restaurants
Organic food
Organic oatmeal
Organic fresh fruit
Organic fresh vegetables
extra virgin olive oil
organic 1 percent milk (I use the Horizon brand with the fat replaced by good oils)
Natural Organic salad dressings like Annies (I love goddess and woodstalk and ranch is good I hear, I find things to deliver Goddess (Darma)
Grass Fed Beef (maybe once a month)
Cage free organic brown eggs
I only eat meat maybe once a week or so
Hormone free chicken (organic)
Organic coffee with 1 percent milk (I use Newman's own french roast lately)
I use palm sugar which is low on the glycemic index
Think Thin energy bars (one a day and add the calories)
No white sugar
1 T honey or pure real maple syrup
Natures valley olive oil spread in place of butter (Whole foods or natural grocers)
Cheese of all sorts. Just 1 oz .....
Organic cottage cheese
Exercise 30 min a day or more outside on a jog walk
Or jog indoors when its cold
Lift weights for my arms
When i get remarried some day i will let my husband chase me for exercise :)

Chocolate: Where is chocolate here? Well.....I love it and believe dark organic chockey is great for you. I just for now am getting to goal weight so I left it out and do not miss it at all now. It took me months to get there. I did a whole super pound of peanut m and m's a few months ago in a weekend so I decided to stop.....

Alcohol: For now i am in a healing and growing mode and this is not a part of my life. Just like chocolate its gone for now. I am GREAT without it. I really am.......

When I go to someones home for dinner or out to dinner my goal is to not be a bore and talk about my eating style unless they ask...I eat a little bit of everything and enjoy myself with NO guilt and do not think of the organic thing. I do it at home enough that every now and again I can have fun. Pizza and Mexican food...:)

I went to a potluck party last Sunday and I had a bit of it all and skipped the dessert / cookies and still lost this week. I did fill up on salad and just a scoop of other things. More a taste.....

Do I cheat ever? YES...... I'm human. My angels call me on it if it seems like im out of control on the cheat. Like right now I went mad with the I cant believe its not butter spray. Not organic NOT healthy Not good ....when its gone i will not buy it again! I love love love my human angels:) smooooooooooch

and LAST....My mentor is who told me about all of the above and he does not want any credit ..:)So I put him last! He is not last in my book...

He says that in the end I did it and I listened to him and yes I do listen to him and I did not have to take his advice, yet....how could I not when I trust that his advice is the best for me and from God? Before anyone gets all thinking im perfect and always listen to everything. I don't and it grieves me when I do not listen because it only hurts me in the end.

My advice is to find a mentor! A lady or man at your church or group or a online mentor ..someone who you are accountable to.

I have decided to go to school and now its the "What are you going to take"? At first I thought I would pursue a preschool teaching degree (I did this when the kids were babies) and then after a few weeks of careful consideration I have decided that is not what im called to do right now even though I love little kids and am good with them. I then thought of my next love "cooking" and oh yea...Its my first love and my first calling in life. (Next to wife and mom) I remember standing up to the stove as a kid on a chair with my grandmother stirring the pot. Yet, its my talent and my love. Do i want to do it as a job? in a restaurant? No....I do not. Do I want to take cooking lessons for myself..You bet. That will come someday...

So what else do I love? I love make up and skin care! Love it and always have done. Can I see myself helping ladies have healthy awesome skin? Yea .....Can i see myself in a salon giving facials? You bet......Can i do this for years and not get bored? YES.....

Thats it. Im on my way this week to research schools and tuition and etc etc. I work in the health industry so it all goes along the lines of what I do now and what im passionate about!

Life is good....and a grand adventure!

Elenore

I just got back from my jog and I met the nicest lady! Her name is Elenore she lives at the top of my little hill. :) I have been walking and most recently jog walking up that hill for months. At first I could not make it to the top on a fast walk and now I am jogging half the time. It feels great when I am done as I am all out of breath and my body just feels great. I struggle once i get to the top to stay in jog mode. That is where Elenore comes in!

When I was jogging / or walking past her house she gave me the thumbs up sign. She was on her patio and came out to meet me. She said that she had watched me for a while now going up the hill daily and always gave me the thumbs up!

Again people who read this....I am inspired and in awe...Have i said that before??? YES....I am blessed beyond what I ever imagined! She told me how she cooks healthy and makes this wonderful vegetable beef soup and how to make it real healthy and to taste wonderful and sinful! Wow...that is my goal! I want to make great healthy food taste sinful and gourmet! She said her daughter cooks healthy gourmet! OK....Im excited now. Elenore said she would give me her recipe for Vegetable soup. That is me ....That is the girl people are amazed at who can just get real friendly and close to a stranger. That is me and part of my gift.

I'm excited now to go out and find more Elenore's!!! Life is full of good people and by gosh im going to go find them every chance I get. What makes me different then some people is that I always never feel rejected when i talk to strangers and they do not want to talk or they act strange. I just know that its not their deal...and its ok. I get rejected half the time I talk to people and I just smile and not take it on as my deal.

Her parting words to me were: I said "When God closes one door she opens another" and she said to me "He already has (Opened a door) and you just can not see the future yet" WOW........

Did I say im blessed?

Alannah and Trespassing!

Last Saturday I went to visit my friend Alannah. Alannah is beautiful and wise and I can not say enough about her. She is one of the sweetest people I have met here in Colorado and I have met a ton of them! She lives way up in the mountains in the forest and her home is as beautiful as she but its more then that its a feeling I get when I walk in. A feeling of love and peace. OK no more Alannah warship!

We went for a walk and she was showing me this fabulous home and what makes it so great is the fact that it sits right on a hill and a stream. They have balconies and big huge windows that over look the stream / mini river. They built a small platform right above the river and there sat two chairs. The house is for sale and Alannah said it was empty so we just hiked right in. There are not any fences as its the forest. We climbed rocks etc and marched our butts right up to the platform and sat right down. For the next hour or so we talked about dieting, relationships, exercise, relationships, work, relationships :) ..etc. Good girlie talk.

As we decided to go home we climbed the rocks again and there at the top of the stair case was a young lady! She said "hello" We were so embarrassed. TRESPASSERS! She just smiled at us as we told her how sorry we were, we thought this home was empty but we loved her platform and we had good girlie talk and she smiled. She was one of us. She knew about girie talk and how important it was and was somehow blessed that we had picked her platform to do it. I suspect she gets in alot of girlie talk herself. Women know this is a good thing.

She was so sweet and gracious and invited us in the home for a tour. The home belonged to her boyfriend who turned out to be a famous recording producer and recording artist. We just loved our visit with this new friend and she was invited into our girlie time. She is a artist as well and has a gallery in town and we are going to go visit her soon to do a big thank you.

Now that is what I call hospitality! That is what life is all about. To take the time and seize the moment! To invite two ladies in your home because you see that they are one of you and like you! How cool is that?

Divorce

The last few weeks I have avoided writing on my blog because my divorce court date is this week and I really do not feel creative. I am not in a place where i am avoiding feelings and letting them just flow and some days im all excited about my future and some days or moments I am in a state of indifference. I call it indifference because its not real sadness as in grief as I did the last three years of this divorce yet it is something serious! I am in a state of reflection on my marriage good and bad. The past three years I choose to only remember the good times and the last eight months I choose to only think of the bad times and now the last few weeks I have been in peace that it was what it was and it was a learning time for me and I growing time.

My time with this soon to be ex was a time of growth for me a time when I fell and fell hard. When I was 20 my therapist told me "Baby, when you are older you are going to crash from all this perfectness and God help those around you" She knew....and I did crash here in Colorado. Ex husband was the one to help me along with this fall. He made it possible for me to hit bottom on all levels. Emotionally, spiritually and with my health. I am grateful that I did hit a hard bottom and I came out of it after three years because now I am on my way up and im almost to the top!

I am so at peace with this ending of a chapter and I do not even look at it as a bad chapter but a growing time in my life and it happened and now what can I do with it? What will God do with it in my life? My good friends husband said to me "God closes this door and will open another" and I believe that is true. I have to trust and to wait and to stay happy and positive and as my mentor says "Dream Big"....And I do!

I feel that my usual posts here are fun and light and this one is serious yet its what I have been avoiding in my writing and I cant fake fun and happy so I was avoiding writing here. I am not sad yet I am not happy. I am in a state of healing and letting go of a marriage and I am so grateful that i am in a place where this is so natural and feels so right.

Feelings are not optional and even if you cover them up they will come out...someday when you least expect it.

No, I wont go on and tell you how wonderful my two mentors are :)....I love them both more then you can imagine! They say its all MY work. I say I could not have done it without them. Thank You...C and M.......C for being the soft heart that loved me no matter what and M for being the one very hard on me and loving me no matter what.....God Bless You Both!

St. Michael, the Archangel - Saints & Angels - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online

St. Michael, the Archangel - Saints & Angels - Saints & Angels - Catholic Online

I am so excited that tomorrow is the first day of fall that I can not even wait until tomorrow to write about it! I am going to go up North to Leadville Colorado on Saturday with Becky and Kevin and we are going to ride the train :) Its going to be beautiful to see the changing leaves and fall colors. I will write about it and have pics as Kevin is going with us. Kevin is a good friend of Beckys. Ok off to get ready for work.

Who Do You Admire? Why?

Today in my Simple Abundance book a question was asked: "Who are the women you admire and why"? Women I admire.....

First and foremost I admire my mom. She has had a challenging life and at age 70 has turned it all around and is starting OVER! She inspires me as i am starting over and if she can do it then I can do it!

I was thinking yesterday after I told a friend that I call my mom daily and i was thinking about why? Yes I love her! and She is my MOM!

Mom simply makes me smile and she always gives me positive answers and positive statements. She spews positiveness in the universe and always has done when i talk to her. She gets EXCITED and i mean real excited at things like that im almost in a size 8! or that my man in the mountain is going to come some day. She claims there is a man up in Cheyenne mountain that will "collect' me soon :) So cute and POSITIVE happy.....That is mom! When the kids were little and i was exasperated at things like potty training she would say things like "oh well, she will be potty trained on her wedding day so dont worry" :) serious....Mom...I admire mom.

My friends present and past are the same. I admire them when they are positive and full of faith. When they let God do the work and have faith that its
Gods will and all will turn out just as he has planned! I love that! When you loose a job a friend says "God will have a new better one for you, HOW EXCITING and FUN" :) When you divorce a friend says "Wow, i cant wait to see what God has planned for your life, I'm so excited for you" A friend recently said that to me ......

I admire homemakers who love their families and devote their time to their husbands, children and grand children. I love women CEO's of big companies who are fair and successful. I admire women who have come out of abuse and can help others and one of my new friends is that! She had horror in her and her children's lives and yet here she is successful and trusting God and inspiring me to NO end! She is amazing.

I admire my sister and cousin and my daughters. All who have had a rough time in life and yet all are wonderful, beautiful and my hero's!

That is it for now......

OH yea one more...............I admire ME :) I admire Cheryl and the way she inspires others and is getting more positive by the day and is moving forward and I have discovered its ok to admire yourself at times and to love Cheryl! She is good.....

Yesterday I went belly up and that is not a pretty picture when one is at a desk at work and one is doing sells! I actually had a pretty good sales day and was able to put on a smile with each call .....It was the between calls that was shameful!

I was crying all day on and off and in the bathroom and a mess. Why you ask? I set here figuring it out and I think its just all the pent up fake smiles that finally got to me. On most days im really happy and yet I know i have not given myself enough alone grief time in the past few weeks as i have been having so much fun!

Why am I in grief? I have been separated for three years and our marriage over for more like six years and yet I feel grief. Do i still want to be married to my ex? Does he want to be married to me? NO .....Do I miss him? NO....I miss his friendship at times and know that maybe we can get that back someday. What is it? I filed divorce and smiled my way thorough it because I was finally healing and finally in a strong place to face reality and do what God wanted me to do. Why? Why now? Why on Wed Sept 15 did I go almost belly up?

My room mate just nailed it on the head. I was grieving not for a loss of my ex husband as a husband but I was griving out the loss of a dream. When I was a little girl they would ask "Cheryl, what do you want to be when you grow up" I would say "A wife and mommmy" I wanted to be a mom and to bake cakes and cupcakes for class parties! and I did that! Every year of my sons six years in school i was the head room mom. Not just a room mom but head room mom!

I now am here single and wondering where i went wrong? No answers come and that is what made me cry yesterday. I want this divorce to be all put in a neat little box with bows and all nice! I want to know all the answers so i wont do it again if I did something in the first place to cause such a mess.

I have a court date in a few weeks and that will be a part of closure and I know we both will be relieved when this is over. We talked a bit yesterday and he wished me well and and I wish him well and happiness and YES I want him to find love again. I know that he will and so will I.

Today Im ok. Going to work and going to smile and sale like crazy. This letting your grief come when it needs to come is ok. My boss talked to me last night and we have a plan if this happens again yet i know that was a one time thing for me and I have worked it through and lost a pound so far this week! I did not use food as an excape.

Thats all. Hope I made sense......

The Dream

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and could not get up yet was wide awake so I just started praying and soon feel asleep and in a very deep sleep which I have not done lately. I had a dream. Not just a scattered dream but a vivid dream that was just as if i was awake and I still remember every detail. That is very unusual for me and I have not had a dream like that in over 10 years or more.

It was from God.....

I dreamed that I was walking through a parking lot and I spotted a car. It was a big grey colored car and inside sat my soon to be ex husband in the passengers side. I got in the drivers side and looked at him and he said "Hi Cheryl, I am going to go be with my new wife now. I love her and I am happy" I looked in his eyes and he was happy and I asked about his "wife" and he said that she was very sweet and loved just him and they were getting married soon. He said he talked to my mom about it (I know its a dream lol) and she liked her as well. I then told him that I was in love but could not talk about it right now but that I am very happy as well. We then smiled at each other and for a instant I had a bad feeling .....sad feeling and then I felt peace. Wanted happiness for him.

I then said good bye for now......and got out of the car and walked away and just woke up to write this.

Wow......

I do not have huge God moments like this often to never and this was one of them and im in awe of it....and grateful that I have such a God To come to me in a dream just when i need it most.

FaLL

Today is the first day of fall in Cheryl's own private world. Not really the first day of fall by the calender yet its feeling "fallish" I LOVE autumn and everything about it and always have done. Mind you spring is close second. I love all the seasons and am so grateful that God made the seasons on the earth and in our life. When one ends you can be sure the next season is right there waiting. My blog is called "The summer that changed my life" I did not make that up :) Yet, it applies. I may have to change it to "The Autumn that changed my life". Then winter and so on because we are always changing for the better!

I love how in the start of autumn that the air seems to change over night (like this morning) and the morning air starts to feel a crisp cold in anticipation of winter. The change of color is brilliant. Rich browns and oranges and yellow and magnificent deep reds. I love the images of pumpkins and harvest! Pumpkin and apple pie and hey rides and harvest. A time to remember the bounty that God provides us each day. To put away for winter and prepare!

Did I mention that I love Autumn? :)

Now wait until OCTOBER hits. That is my favorite month of all time!

Blue Eyes

A few weeks ago I was taking my walk after dinner and a beautiful dog came running around me. Not up to me but around me and back and forth. He had magical blue eyes! I kept waking and assumed he stayed at his house. I was walking about 10 more minutes and came to this house with alot of dogs in the back yard and as I walked by the fence the dogs started barking and jumping the fence the beautiful blue eye dog came running around me first and then to the fence. He was clearly protecting me! I was in awe of this and felt so close to God at that moment. I forgot about until this A.M.

I was sitting here reading my devotional book and my room mate had her dog Bo on his leash and was about to go out for their morning walk. I heard her scream! and yell....and i ran out to the front of the house and she said "Cheryl, There is a German shepherd out there" and I was amazed that a dog would be sitting on the porch. It startled her because she almost let Bo out the door and Bo is a Pit Bull. A sweet pit bull mind you but never the less a pit bull!

I went to look out the window and it was blue eyes! Oh My Gosh......From God. My protector! I know all this seems so silly but its true. My room mate tried to shoo him away and I said "he is my protector" she just went out back and left that way and im sure she must be thinking her room mate has finally cracked up!

This is "The Summer That Changed My Life"

Gratitude.....

This morning I woke up with a tear falling down my face. What a way to wake up! Yet, it was not sadness or anger or confusion. It was a deep gratitude that hit me right in the heart as soon as I opened my eyes. Out of the blue...unexpected.

I have been sitting here for 30 minutes thinking about what to write in my Cheryl journal and for the life of me I could not get this emotion down on paper, yet I want to share it. The day I started this journey last January I simply had tears running down my face and I looked up at my mentor, with my sisters all around me and one with her arms around me and said "I don't have words" That is not something Cheryl says! I always have words! Yet, its was true and many times on my journey I lack words and that is ok and that is perfect and excellent as there does not always have to be words when the emotion is that deep and even when its something emotionless and drama free or simple I have learned that its ok to be silent. To reflect and as a friend of mine tells me "Dramatic Pause"

I am grateful this morning and blown away once again by the blessings I have and by those that bless me and most of all by God who never fails me.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-Melody Beattie

I am doing well and in a place of change right now. I have been in a place of change for years now and sometimes it is slow changes and sometimes its huge changes that come all at once..Hence..I am moving house today. A grand adventure! I have been listening to Zig Ziglar alot lately as well as listening to conference calls that my mentor hosts. They are so inspiring to me and keep me going. I found the below poem today and wanted to share it....More to come!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

My Dream

I just woke up and finished reading my morning book "Simple Abundance" and having a cup of coffee. I am in in a mellow mood and still thinking about my dream this morning. It was just before I woke up and some may call it a nightmare and it was a bit powerful but I would not call it a nightmare at all.

My dream was that I was with a person on the side of a swimming pool. I remember the water was a brilliant blue and beautiful and the person near me was a person that I feel save with. I do now know who that was right now as I type this. I do not know if they were male or female etc. Just that they were full of love and they were for me in life. Maybe this person or figure at the side of the pool was God. Or one of my angels here on earth.

At some point while standing at the side of the pool I fell in the water and I went down to the bottom of the pool. I was not afraid in falling because I knew in the past that I could just swim right back up on my own power.

I could feel the hard surface and had hit the bottom of the pool. I then was afraid and tried to swim to the top and could not even manage to go a inch. I then panicked and was afraid. That part lasted a few seconds and my thought was that the friend at the top would be sad and could not even come rescue me because they did not know I was not able to get up to the top on my own.

I then took a deep breath of surrender and took in a huge amount of water and felt nothing but peace and relaxation. It was beautiful and somehow very good and then I woke up.

I never can usually remember my dreams but rememberd this one very clearly and in color which is strange to me and yet was not disturbing and I smiled when I woke up. I thought "wow" how awesome for God to give me a surrender dream that was so peaceful and beautiful and just right for my life today as I have gone a bit further down the road of surrender last night. I let go of the need to control my life and made a choice to let God take over and it was beautuful and effertless and beautiful.

Now. In no way does that dream mean I'm going to die or think my time on earth is done. It just represents to me total surrender and while I am not there yet I can see that God is telling me that it will be peaceful and good.

I have come a long way because a few months ago I would have seen this as a nightmare that would have scared or disturbed me. Now I see it as a beautiful conframatoin from God that all I am doing here in Colorado is good and from him. I am blessed.....I am grateful.

Knight And Day

I went to see the new movie "Knight And Day" with Tom Cruz and Cameron Diaz yesterday. While the movie was not an academy award movie it was cute and my only gripe was that the car chases were a bit silly but other then that I liked it as it hit home with me on so many levels.

The character played by Cameron Diaz was a very smart and capable lady who was very much a sheltered person who had a air head / blond quality about her. She was put in a situation where she had to listen and depend on her captor to live and to move froward and in the beginning had no clue what was going on except that she trusted that if she followed she would be ok in the end. She did not do this perfect and ran the opposite way and did her own thing out of panic and fear more then a a few times and every time the result lead to disaster. (See how I can relate here) and She did this with blond charm. And if you must live life then do it with charm......

Cute move...Thought provoking. In the end she used her brain and strength to save the day.

I had a very challenging ......OK I will call it what it was "HARD AS HELL" few days and guess what? I got through it without chocolate and a few tears but the key phrase here was that I did get through it.

I let myself go into a drama filled place full of people who disregard me as a human. Period. Key word here is "I" as in I let myself go there knowing the outcome and consequences yet there I go......Into the pit of darkness and then I call up "people" and say "HELP"...

My helper in life showed me how to stay out of the darkness and what it feels like to be in the light or with sane good positive people. and for Cheryl today it no longer feels right to be with anyone or anything that is bad. Yes, we use words like bad. Call it what it is......

Now, the hard part of my work is that I want to help the people who are in the pit. The pit is what I use to describe a place of negative in our life and people who are constantly in their own private pits. I do not mean life challenges like disease or death, that is NOT in a pit. I mean unnecessary drama and sin of all kinds. Negative thoughts or behavior and false fear.

Good Stuff :)

Weight: I am doing well on my eating plan or I call it a life plan. I was feeling very tired and awful last week and on the weekend I bought some spinach to make a spinach salad and in a few days I started feeling better. Food is fuel! What a concept. If we put high grade fuel in our bodies and keep the fluids up then it runs wonderfully.

Finances: All good here. I have to get my car transmission replaced this week and am grateful I had just the correct amount in savings. God is good......

New Blog Name

The last two week I have found myself gong off track a abit and while i was not a runaway train I did have to get back on track. The first thing that I did was start questioning my church yet not my faith. What I discovered is that God is not there to entertain me and for me to expect this is wrong. I love my faith and when I try to change that I get all miserable. Yes, I would love to attend a church full of people and fun and etc but I can find that elsewhere and not change my religion doing it.

The second thing is that I go a bit off the rails with my food / diet. I am not on a diet and started thinking along those lines. I eat for life. I eat normal but small meals and I have things i need to not eat often and I have rules like I am not to eat a nude carb :) Sounds all shady! A nude carb is a carb alone and not mixed with a protein. I ate m and m's peanut for dinner and decided that was a carb / protein combo and my nutritionist decided that was not the case. He stressed last week that I need even more protein and more exercise with weight lifting and to NOT change the plan to suit me and NO substitutions. ok Back on track with the food thing.

The budget it good. My car broke down and the bill will be 1000 next week and I can pay for it! Again......The budget it good.

Now the hard part. My attitude sucked last week. Badly. I was disrespectful to a person helping me and more important I was disrespectful to myself. I was negative and sled right into victim mode. Hence........the new title of my blog "PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DEAL WITH IT".......Which is the last thing my mentor in life said to me before he hung up last week! ICK......Now i have a choice don't I? I can hear a "Excellent".....Or ......My choice. I choose "excellent".

Now the fun part. I got in my creative mode last night and cooked. I made Chicken cacciacorte and my three room mates and myself had a girl friend time. Girls are good! Women are important to me and vital :) But....I need the men in my life to say "Deal With It"......Ballance.

Sleep

Sleep.......I have been sleeping very well the last few weeks. Its amazing! I can not believe it when I wake up five or six hours after I drift off to sleep. I look at my clock in amazement. I use to wake up every hour our two. Healthy lifestyle is no longer optional for me anymore. My helpers in life have me doing a few things which I account for my great sleep. One being I have a snack before bed and the other thing is that I take my Coral Calcium also before bed! We sell it here at Functional Medicine Specialists. The other thing is that I do not go on my computer after 7:30 at night which can be too stressing. I light a candle and listen to music or read. When I do put on the tv on work nights and that is very seldom, I watch only very light weight shows that are fun. Last but not least is that I walk 30 minutes after dinner. IT is a light weight wonderful walk to clear my mind. Healthy living is good and sleep is wonderful and they say that you will not loose weight as well if you do not sleep.

Love you all at FMS!! Yes, I work here and I am a patient. I am double blessed!!!